I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was like getting head from an anaconda
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
