Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
