we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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