Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
