I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
