If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
