She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
