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You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
