I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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