I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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