I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize