the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
