Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I bet he comes in French.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
