Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
