i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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