I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
