Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
