im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
