A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
