Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
