Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
