What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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