I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
