I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
