What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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