He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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