Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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