at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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