we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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