piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
