It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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