did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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