Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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