You made me cry and you don't even care
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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