talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
