the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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