yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
