After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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