does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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