he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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