She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
