sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
