Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
