I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
