I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
420 ftw
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
