Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
