im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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