Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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