2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We had sex on a dog bed..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
