why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
