If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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