Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize