she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
