He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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