if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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