i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
