I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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