My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
