Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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