Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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